Is social media wrecking your happiness?

There's been a shift in the way we see happiness today. With everything getting temperamental, so is happiness and in the process, it metamorphoses into pleasure. So, exit merrymakers, enter hedonists. For the millennials, the line between happiness and pleasure is completely blighted. When it comes to pointing the perpetrators, there's one that shouldn't escape mention - social media. We are a digital age that doesn't remember birthdays, doesn't know about weddings, kids, jobs, promotions, day outs, night ins, everything and nothing without social media. And to say it in the most minimalistic way, its wreaking havoc on us. And on everyone.

Happiness vs pleasure
Let's look at it this way: What happens when you buy a chocolate and have it? You think it gives you happiness, but it ends with the melting away of the last cube in your mouth. Now, what if a friend or a relative gifts you that same chocolate because they really like you or admire you? You would get happier and would remember this one incident through your life. When you talk about today, the connections and exchanges that are supposed to happen (and used to happen in the past) in real have been replaced by digital transactions. The hard work, love and efforts have been replaced by clicks and that's it. This easiness leads to accessibility and thus, excess, makes special become everyday. Thus, things that would have spelled happiness for your parents only spell a temporary high for the millennials.

In other words, short-term things that are related to hormones such as dopamine rush after a Tinder swipe, give you pleasure. Long-term emotions that derive out of, let's say, stable relationships, love and support, and give you satisfaction and contentment are what that contributes to happiness. 

Instant gratification and positive feedback
Now, we are a generation that feeds on these two. Why are we tempted to check Facebooks and Instagrams as soon as we get up in the morning? We love people liking and commenting on our posts. Studies have confirmed that social media leads to stronger activity in the brain's nucleus when it receives appreciation on social media. 

Why addiction?
Addiction, in simpler words, is getting obsessed with something that provides you pleasure but only short term. This is because when you indulge in things you are addicted to, you get dopamine hits. As soon as your hormone gets back to normal level, you want that hit again. Now, why do we tend towards such short term pleasures? Because of a concept called hedonistic treadmill. In simpler terms, it means that anything that goes on in your life for a long duration becomes normal. For example, when you put your hand in warm water, you feel the difference. But when it has been a while since your hand is in the warm water, you stop recognising the difference and it becomes the new normal.

Similarly, life in itself is a hedonistic treadmill. When we start finding things mundane, we head out for dopamine hits. Though people may talk about major drug related addictions, addiction to social media and phone are subjects people don't talk about. But, they are as damaging to personal contentment as any other addiction. 

It makes you depressed
Also, we want to be instantly gratified with what we share on social media. This also makes us be very choosy about what we put out there and judge others' lives based on what they share on social media. The picture that's painted on media is often very rosy and a very selective depiction of one's life. If we compare our lives with what others show their lives to be, we are doomed to feel depressed. A study showed that teens who used social media for over two hours a day had a greater tendency towards developing mental health problems such as depression and anxiety. 

What you can do
Look for satisfaction and fulfillment. The best way to achieve that is by being selfless and helping others. Once you do things for anyone but yourself, you will see that your own sense of wellbeing will get better. That will be your true merit. Immediately, try to cut down your time spent on the mobile by 10 minutes each day. If your hand is going towards the phone, make a conscious effort to stop it. In some time, you will see that you need the phone less and lesser.